In this installment of A Man Should Know for The Free Press, Elliot Ackerman reflects on hospitality, hosting, and the responsibility of making others feel welcome.
The essay begins with the story of Marcus Luttrell, the lone survivor of a Navy SEAL reconnaissance mission in Afghanistan, who was given sanctuary by an Afghan villager named Gulab under the Pashtun tradition of nanawatai. For Ackerman, the story illustrates that hospitality can be far more than manners. It can be a serious moral obligation.
Taking Hospitality Seriously
Ackerman argues that men often treat hosting as someone else’s responsibility, but a man should know how to welcome others well. Whether at home, in a restaurant, or among friends, good hospitality begins with attention, effort, and care.
The High-Low Approach
The essay offers practical advice for hosting without overcomplicating the evening. Ackerman recommends pairing something simple and familiar with one elevated gesture, such as pizza with champagne or barbecue with scotch.
Creating a Sanctuary
At its core, hosting is about creating a space where guests feel considered and at ease. Ackerman also notes the importance of choosing the right venue, handling the bill gracefully, and knowing when to bring an evening to a close.
The result is a reflection on generosity, friendship, and the quiet power of making others feel welcome.